Over the last few weeks i've been pondering the Mother/Daughter relationship as a whole. My first born is my only daughter, i've often wondered if our relationship would be different had i had more than one girl. I myself have 13 sisters total between biological, half, and adopted. The way i interact with my own Mother is no where near the way my daughter does with me. I'm unsure if this is because i was one of so many and never had the chance, or because of personality.
Since the day my sweet baby girl entered this world, she has been a mamas girl
Over the years i felt smothered by her need to ALWAYS be near me, touching me, in my personal space. i've joked about the reasons i think she is this way
1. i weaned her at 6 months, because i was 3 months pregnant with her brother Lennon, my joke is she's like a kitten weaned to early.
2. If i had an ergo when she was a baby things would have been a lot easier. If she could fit she would want me to carry her in one today.
3. i thought of this one the other day, the doctor induced me and maybe she just wasn't ready to be separate from me.
Its funny to joke about these things, but in all seriousness some may be true.
Some of you may not know, i had all three of my babies VERY close together, so to be a mom of basically three babies at once is very hard, i was also only 20 when i gave birth to Adia. This year i turned 35 and i am just now starting to feel more competent at being Mom, well sorta .
Like i was saying over the years i have struggled with her clinginess, at times to the point of anger. but something i read a few days ago really made me stop and think. A mom i follow on instagram posted a photo of her reading to her children and her daughter was sitting behind her while she lay on the couch, with her arms crossed over her moms head. This mom stated that this was all about a Mother/Daughter connection in the sneakiness of ways. Why this spoke to me i have no idea, but it did. It got me thinking WHY? Why have i been fighting her wanting to be close to me?
The sweet little thing just needs to be close to her mama, feeling love, craving touch.
Why have i been thinking this is abnormal? Its the most natural connection in the world.
When i really think about it, i love that she likes to be close to me, i love her playing with my hair, snuggling next to me. I will fight this no more, i will embrace her, literally.
What an honor it is to be this girls Mama, she is such a creative, talented, focused, determined young lady.
This beautiful girl LOVES me, more than i can even fathom. Lord give me the wisdom to be her Mama, to love her like she needs, to hold her when she needs it, to listen when she needs to ramble, and to always believe the sky is the limit for her.
Miss Adia Rose, you are the most precious gift, i look forward to seeing how you will change this world for the better. you have such amazing dreams.
I love you